LL Cool J — “Mama Said Knock You Out”

The song begins with a radio announcer praising LL Cool J’s “triumphant comeback.” LL Cool J takes umbrage at this comment — his recent success is not properly a comeback, since he has been plying his trade for some time. His many detractors will be reduced to tears when faced with the power of LL Cool J’s heavy bass sound. LL likens the heaviness of this sound to an explosion, and himself to a giant. His lyrics are so aggressive that listeners will call upon the police for help. He will destroy his competition in the music world, and anybody who looks at him for a prolonged period.

LL Cool J notes that his mother has goaded him into his present fury. She has directed LL Cool J to physically assault and incapacitate anyone who dares denigrate him on any level, and he intends to do just that.

To regard his music and lyrics as anything but extraordinary, LL feels, is to miss the point. His talent and ambition are limitless — establishing his supremacy on Earth is merely the first stage of interplanetary conquest. LL feels his ability to rap is comparable only to Muhammad Ali’s ability to punch people in the face. Why would anybody challenge him? He will slay any foolish challengers, for he is a psychopath, and has a strong command of the English language.

It is his mother who has taught him to behave in this manner.

As soon as LL Cool J heard an unnamed song on the radio, he began preparing to assault the song’s author. The song apparently implied that LL was inexperienced as a rapper. He maintains otherwise, and proffers his forthcoming tour (not his first) as evidence. During this tour, he intends to injure anyone who does not show him the proper respect. His mother directed him to do so. Nor will LL be satisfied to injure others. He intends to murder them if necessary, resorting to gun violence.

LL feels that both his mother and God Himself will approve of these extreme actions.

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